Nicole+Gololobov+2014

__The murderous murder: a murder mystery__

Narrator: At four a.m. yesterday, a body was found in the basement of the Juniper boarding house during the weekly checking of the mouse traps. The body was dead, very dead. It was so dead that it’s unlikely that the owner of the body, a mime by the name of Treicheltz, will be coming back to life any time soon. Treicheltz was found trapped with a large wooden beam on his head, well, not really trapped, he wasn’t struggling against it or anything, but either way, it was believed that the beam was responsible for his death. Now, you may think that, with the wooden beam in prison, that all was well at the boarding house, but as you can tell by the title of this screenplay, it wasn’t. For you see, Treicheltz did not die and become dead in an accident, I think I’ve established the death part enough. Rather, he was murdered. What baffled the police most was the motive, in that there was none. Treicheltz had no debts and no estranged half-brothers, and he had never said a thing to anger anyone. Whoever had killed him had been a cold-blooded psychopath, someone who saw human life as a game, as something to destroy for their own amusement. It was likely that they would strike again, perhaps literally. For now though, it would be just another morning at the boarding house.

(The guests sit around a table while the maid sets the plates and silverware. Guest 1 is typing at a laptop, Guest 2 is tying her shoes, Guest 3 is attempting to eat his napkin, Guest 4 is twiddling her thumbs, and Guest 5 is asleep, using his book as a pillow. The manager enters the room, looking grim.) Manager: I have some bad news for all of you. Guest 1: No more free Wi-Fi? M: No, but it’s almost as bad. The police autopsy shows that the fellow who died last week was murdered. Guest 2: I bet it was him. (Motions to Guest 3) He hated those expressionist films Treicheltz kept on playing. Guest 3: That’s not true! I liked the last one, Nosferatu. M: Calm down people, there’s more to the bad news. No one has checked out since the death, so the criminal is probably still here. I’m telling you this now so that you may leave, otherwise, live at your own risk. Will anyone be going today? (The guests look at each other. No one raises their hand.) M: Wow, you must be idiots, but okay. I’ll try to figure out which one of you did it, but I won’t go out of my way to. If you’re the killer, just don’t kill anyone else. (The manager leaves the room.) G2: Who thinks he did it? G3: I don’t. G2: Why? G3: Because, he’s kind of grumpy, and the grumpy guy is never the killer. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Guest 4: True, but I don’t think we can ignore him. Let’s face it, it could be any of us. It could be me, or you, or you or you. It could be that guy. (Points at Guest 5, who abruptly wakes up.) <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Guest 5: Huh? <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">G 4: Yep. (Looks into the camera, as if facing the viewer.) It could even be you!