Kelly+Sodano+Satire

Kelly Sodano AP Lang period 2

Dear Mr. Stark,  Listen, Iron man. I get that you’re all “techno” and “updated,” but stop taking all of my crimes! Do you know how many times I run to the rescue, just to see a job already done! I’m sick of it Stark, I really am! What do you think you’re all cool because you can fly and smash things? Well no, that’s not how it’s going to work here. Without all of your fancy devices, you wouldn’t be anything more than a regular human. I, indeed, am the original superhero, and I deserve some respect around here! You don’t see Hulk smashing where I’m called do you? Is the hammer of Thor ever in sight? No, it isn’t.  I know you helped us “save the world” and whatever, but that still doesn’t give you the right to think you’re better than the rest of us. Being a superhero is about the nobility and chivalry, not the fact that your chest and hands light up like Christmas trees. You should do what feels morally right to you, and I know you want to help, but it’s getting pretty annoying, you always getting all of the spotlight. Obviously you’re doing it for publicity and your company. I mean good for you, but listen. When I, Thor, or Hulk get called on a mission, that means it’s ours. Back off Stark, enough is enough. Don’t worry; you’ll still have all of your fans and endorsements I promise you.  I don’t want to annoy you, were all friends here. It’s just too much now. What happened to the team? I and the Hulk went to lunch yesterday, and after smashing everything in plain sight, he told me he feels the same way. This is an issue Stark. We are losing the true meaning of superheroes. Let’s face it, you aren’t really one, all of the powers are built into that suit of yours (which is pretty awesome, may I add) and people forget that there are real superheroes out there too. Plus, you already have three movies out, and I’m still working on two so slow it down a little will you please. I’m willing to bargain with you. If you update my costume (the red white and blue is a little outdated, don’t you think) I will send you a list of the missions to complete that week, and we will split it. That way, I look extremely stylish, maybe with a few new gadgets, while you get the fame and publicity. I’ll have to discuss this with the Hulk, who may be interested in the idea also, since he doesn’t really wear clothes. Maybe even Thor would take interest in a new cape or two. But please, tone down the “Iron Man” fanatic, we can’t take this anymore. Can we please work together again as a team? Thanks Stark, Captain America