Jessica+Tobia

The Code of Chivalry: A Love Letter from King Joffrey to Lady Sansa 20 points A Game of Thrones Satire SPOILER ALERT

Dearest Sansa, When I first laid eyes on you in Winterfell I knew we were destined for greatness. Since I, being a future king, was always destined for greatness, you inherited that when we were announced each other’s betrothed. Our love grew as we journeyed back to King’s Landing when we went for a romantic stroll. Your sister, Arya, almost got in the way of our love when her and her fat butcher friend disarmed me. I know, I know; it is foolish of me to let family get in the way of love, but I did not want you to disrespect me the way she had. As punishment I clearly had no choice but to kill the fat boy and your direwolf. That beast was not suited to be a pet regardless. I know you were sad, but our love grew stronger because of it! It was wise of you to claim the butcher’s boy had attacked me. From that moment I knew you loved me almost as much as I love me. And oh how we became the power couple of King’s Landing! Once my father died, I became king and you were soon to be the most powerful woman in the Seven Realms. No one would come between our power. So, I had to kill those who threatened me; one of whom was your father, Ned. It is a good thing you agreed he had to be beheaded for his treasonous crimes, otherwise you would have hated me for killing your father. Wasn’t it humorous seeing his bodiless head on the wall, rotting away with each day? I had my men put his head up there for you, my Lady. Since I was at war with your family I could not send you back to Winterfell. It was not safe! Keeping you here in King’s Landing was for your own good, Sansa. The only way I can keep you safe is by remaining king, which is why I had to murder all the children in town. God forbid one of them is a bastard of my father’s and thinks he deserves the throne over me! Fools. With the uprising in the capital that followed, I have to apologize for leaving you to be raped by those men. But you know I had to protect myself first; after all, I am more important than you. I know you understand that. I want you to know, my dear, that I still love you, even though our engagement has been renounced, and I am to marry Lady Margeary of House Tyrell. And, even though the war is over (now that I had your brother, Robb, and your mother killed) I still feel it necessary you remain in King’s Landing. Thankfully, you married my uncle Tyrion, which means you are a Lannister now. Wasn’t it thoughtful of me to walk you down the aisle? You know, since your father is dead? You looked ravishing in your gown the night of your wedding. My offer still remains on the table of me making love to you as my men hold you down. Maybe I will pay you a visit in your chambers soon.

With love, King Joffrey Baratheon

***a character analysis of Joffrey Baratheon here: [|__http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Joffrey_Baratheon__]