Brooke+Lockwood+Satire


 * 3000 Injured in Act of Chivalry Gone Awry **

By __Gloria Friedan__ | April 8, 2014

NEW YORK, NY - 3000 are left injured after an act of chivalry at the annual New York City Marathon went awry. The race, renowned for its massive degree of participation, began normally Saturday morning as 10,000 men and women arrived at the starting line. Trouble soon arose, however, at mile 16 when a group of 254 men halted abruptly on the pathway leading up to the George Washington Bridge in an attempt to apply the ever courteous “ladies first” policy. The build up led to the trampling of several thousands as people slammed into the backs of the courteous group of men.

Of the 3000 people injured in the incident, at least 600 have broken legs, another 350 have broken arms, and the majority have been left with scraping and bruising. At least one runner is currently in critical condition.

This is the sixth incident of this year where an attempt at polity has led to widespread injury at a marathon. Just last week, in the Tulsa Tearers Long Run, 10 men dived to cover a large puddle that had formed on the racing pathway, tripping at least 23 people in the process.

Race organizers are now gathering to seriously consider how to tackle this issue of failed chivalry. Chicago Marathon Organizational Board Chairman Bob McBobber has already thwarted potential incidents by installing a rule that requires that female runners remain at least 15 yards behind all male runners during the course of the marathon. “It is our duty,” explains the chairman, “to ensure the safety of our female folk. Their weak constitutions cannot handle any more stress, and this policy will ensure that they won’t have to worry their pretty little heads about causing an incident.”

Male runners have responded positively to the Chicagoan policy, but some call for a stricter regulation of the race. “This Chicago Marathon policy just doesn’t go far enough. It will only be safe if women are banned entirely from these big city races,” says 50 time marathon runner Joe Shmoe. It appears a large group agree with him, as an online petition have been circulating. It currently has 10,000 signatures.

- REFLECTION:

When I first learned of the assignment, I had not yet finished reading //Gawain and the Green Knight//, and thus I decided to read with the assignment in mind. While reading, I did not notice much that I could satirize beyond chivalry and Gawain's perception of women. I considered writing about the nature of King Arthur's governance, or perhaps how the story seemed to tie into some of Freud's ideas, but ultimately I felt that the idea of chivalry was the most interesting, especially after reading about how Gawain felt about women after the final seduction scene. Upon finishing the book, I knew I liked the idea of a fake news story and wanted to satirize chivalry, so I began to brainstorm possible news stories. Eventually I began to circle around the idea of a race, and decided it would be an interesting way to satirize chivalry, as it also serves as an extended metaphor for life.

In my "article" I wrote about an accident that occurred at a marathon after a large group of men attempted to be chivalrous. This attempt at chivalry left not only the men injured, but also the women they were trying to help, much like the act of chivalry does in many cases. I also wrote that in reaction to the accident, race organizers decided to place limits of female racers. I felt my article appropriately satirized chivalry as is points out that while acts of chivalry are done with the best of intentions, in the long run they are harmful to both sexes, but most especially to the women at which they are aimed.

I believe that I should receive 27/30 points, as while I believe I wrote an article that competently satirizes chivalry, I did not go above and beyond. Brainstorming the article took me around 15 minutes, and actually writing it took me less than an hour. My article clearly satirizes chivalry, and makes some strong points, however I do not believe that it makes any ground breaking statements. For these reasons, I believe my article should be taken out of 30 points, rather than 40, and I would give myself a 27 to account for any possible errors.