Perry+Huang+and+Michael+Usewick

=The Pros And Cons Of Being the Green Knight = NEWS IN BRIEF • Fantasy• Warriors• Knight• ISSUE 50•12  • April 9, 2014

A figure shrouded in mystery and mystique, the Green Knight is just as formidable as he is elusive. But through the persistent efforts of enthusiastic reporters, an exclusive interview has been released. The following is a short synopsis of this privileged information, key points, and what being the Green Knight really means.

Asian reporter in the field, Tricia Takanawa, caught up with the green behemoth as he was finishing up a day of hunting. The man now popularly referred to as “The Green Knight,” or even more colloquially “Shrek with muscles,” gave us the rundown on just what it’s really like to be a mutant freak such as himself. In his own words, “There are no words to describe the feeling of sticking out your neck for a group of over-confident knights, only to have them stare in utter bewilderment as you pick up your severed head, give them a cheesy one-liner, and scorch on out of there like hell on emerald green wheels.” Here’s a list we gathered of the best, and worst, aspects of life as the Green Knight.

PROS
 * Sick green skin and stuff
 * Respect of peers and fine maidens everywhere
 * Tyrannosaurus Flex-imus Prime-itron-inator-osaurus-ificationism
 * Slight case of invulnerability
 * natural camouflage

CONS


 * You lose your head now and then, and sometimes you can’t find it at all
 * Scratching your back becomes a real problem
 * Finding Armor that fits you (and almost nothing goes with green)
 * Being mistaken for an ogre
 * <span style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline;">Choppin heads can really throw out your shoulder

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