Bruddah

I don’t believe I have ever truly appreciated having my brother in my life enough. Sure, everyone knows of him. Justin’s the nice guy who almost always has a smile on his face. He’ll be the first to say hello and effortlessly put people in a better mood. Living with him for 16 plus years of my life, I have realized he’s all the aforementioned and so much more. My brother is the kind of guy to wait with you in the pouring until your ride comes, or picks the best piece of chicken for the person in the room who deserves it the most (of course he believes, not himself), or die trying to save you from your contemporary life issues. As I read back on what I just wrote, I feel almost angry at myself for understating his personality. None of what I just said justifies how much love emanates from my almost 19 year old brother. God, I dream that one day I could reciprocate how much love he has for me.

I love him! I really do. But his love is something that would save a small baby like Harry Potter from an evil wizard’s Avada Kadavra.

I don’t mind comparing myself to my brother. I look up to him more than he knows. I envy his genuine love. But when I do start to contrast myself to him, I start to discover my true nature in comparison to his. That's always helpful for myself. It helps me notice where I can improve. I don’t get sad or jealous, and I definitely don’t lose hope. Rather, I recognize my flaws and his strengths and promise myself to become my idea of a better person.

Oh, but how impossible this task can get.

How my brother does it, is an enigma that actually has a simple answer. He’s himself. Something you and I will never be. But hey, you’re always told to love who you are. And again I do!

Now that he's in college, I don't see him that often. I miss him when he's gone but at the same time my own life swirls around so I don't get to miss him enough. We've always been best friends, playing together, scheming together, fighting together, however since his freshman year at college, the most we do together now is have occasional dinners together at the dinner table discussing politics and what-not when he comes home.

Although I've always felt like the younger sister, the child of the family, I've never gotten over feeling that I have to protect my brother too. Maybe its his soft heart that I worry people will crush, or his kindness that know people will maliciously use. Whatever it is, I want to protect him. I would be sooner to realize when someone is using me than would my brother. His kindness blinds himself occasionally. But I've come to terms that its frankly impossible to be that guardian. Also that's just life. The thing is though, is that it might not be necessary. Everywhere my brother goes, he makes friends. He's the guy that everyone knows and loves. So if this is the case, no one would want to do him any harm, unless they're evil. I have hope in humanity. I also have hope in my brother.

For some reason I feel like I didn't really get to say what I had intended to say originally. I got caught up attempting to explain who he is. I might have forgotten what I wanted to say too. Whoops. The struggle is real.

Anyway, he's a cool dude, so much that I can confidently say you're lucky if you are acquainted with him; however you'll never be as lucky as I am to have him as my own brother.