Rachel+Baxter-Green+satire

__ Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder: Or, How People Are Not Always How They Are Portrayed In Movies __ INTRO- CREEPY FOREST- DAY A handsome young knight rides through the forest. His armor is shiny and reflects what little light shines through the trees. This is a bad move as it attracts attention. Specifically, the attention of the evil things that lurk in the forest. A small rustling noise is heard from the bushes __ Sir Loosestrife __ Who goes there!? It is I, Sir Loosestrife, of the house of Flora, right hand man to King Aster the Just, champion of the yearly jousting match that’s held just over the hill there, you know the one… Loosestrife continues on, unaware that someone is sneaking up behind him. This someone is a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a very innocent expression. __ Genevieve __ Oh my dear knight! (She runs up behind Loosestrife and hugs him. Startled, he stops speaking.) My one true savior! Finally you have come to rescue me from this dreadful forest! Genevieve continues to hold Sir Loosestrife. Her grip is very tight __ Sir Loosestrife __ Ah, um, good day lady. I didn’t see you there. I… uh… of course I’ll free you from this dark forest, just… can you please let go of me? Just a little bit? __ Genevieve __ Of course good sir, but I will keep holding on until we’re all the way out of this forest! These woods are really scary! (There is a hint of sarcasm in her voice.) __ Sir Loosestrife __ Um… okay then Loosestrife twists awkwardly around and picks Genevieve up to put her on the horse. She is much heavier than he thought. When he puts her down on the horse the horse snorts at the extra weight. Genevieve retains her tight grasp on Loosestrife. Her arms are now around his waist. __ Genevieve __ Let us go brave sir knight! My home is that way! (She points down an overgrown path surrounded by brambles.) __ Sir Loosestrife __ Uh… I was actually planning on going that way, (He points down a much clearer, brighter path. Genevieve gives him puppy-dog eyes.) but if you want to go that way, I’ll take you. They begin to head towards the overgrown path. Suddenly an ugly old woman comes bursting out of the bushes from the same direction that Genevieve came from __ Olga __ Ah, there you are you tricky little pest! Watch out there man, that’s a nasty shape shifter you’ve got latched onto your back there. Here, I’ll get it off for you. (She advances towards Loosestrife) __ Sir Loosestrife __ Advance no further you foul hag! I have made it my duty to escort this girl out of the forest at her own request, and I will allow no one to stop me, not even someone who looks like my mother! __ Olga __ You idiot! Did you not just hear what I said? I had to put a curse on that thing myself so that it couldn’t get out of the woods and wreak havoc. It’s trying to use you to leave this place. (She pauses) Or maybe it just wants to eat you, that’s always a possibility. __ Sir Loosestrife __ And why should I believe you? You just admitted that you’re a witch who put a curse on this poor girl! You might be trying to steal my soul, or bake me into a pie, or something! __ Olga __ Fine! Have it your way! I hope she eats your face off! (mumbles) //Why doesn’t anybody ever listen to me, it’s not like I’m trying to save their lives or anything// Sir Loosestrife and Genevieve continue down the overgrown path. After waiting for a moment, Olga decides to follow them. EDGE OF DARK FOREST- LATER THAT DAY __ Sir Loosestrife __ Well here we are, almost in the clear. __ Genevieve __ That’s wonderful! Oh brave sir knight; I must give you something in order to show you my thanks! __ Sir Loosestrife __ What? Oh, no it’s fine, really. You don’t have to give me anything. I’m always happy to help a beautiful woman in need. __ Genevieve __ How about a kiss to show my thanks. Genevieve leans in to kiss Loosestrife. Loosestrife looks somewhat panicked and leans away slightly. When Genevieve’s face is only a couple of inches from Loosestrife’s, her head turns into that of a giant snake. Loosestrife has his eyes closed, so he does not see. At the last minute Olga comes bursting through the bushes, brandishing a wand. __ Olga __ Watch out you idiot! She brandishes her wand and a bright light comes out and hits Genevieve in the face. Loosestrife is so startled that he falls off his horse. __ Olga __ I warned you, didn’t I, but you didn’t listen. Nobody //ever// listens to the old hag. You try to give people advice, and all they ever do is run away screaming about how you’re going to turn them into a toad. I don’t even like toads! She grabs Genevieve by the back of her dress and begins dragging her back into the forest. She gives one last pointed look at Loosestrife, who looks very dazed and is attempting to get back on his horse. __ Olga __ Get out of here and don’t come back, you hear? I don’t want to have to save your sorry ass again. __ Sir Loosestrife __ Y-yes ma’am! Loosestrife gets back on his horse and gallops out of the forest as fast as he can -FIN- https://docs.google.com/a/brrsd.k12.nj.us/document/d/10E-yDEJPw5QqcWb04WvlhU5BJa0usHyL94yXCW-gn7A/edit?usp=sharing