James+Lin+Satire

The Green Guy Had a Bad Day

Once upon a time, king Arthur's court enjoyed a hefty Christmas dinner. There met the most beautiful, the most honorable, the strongest, and the bravest in all the land. That night, a challenge arrived to test this bravery. A specter appeared, and he was green. He was really green all over and wearing green things. He even had green hair, like a freshman at pep rally. He might as well have been wearing a morph suit. Arthur's court was like, what? Anyway the Green Guy said if you guys cut my head off, I'll cut off yours one year and one day from now. And Arthur was like, he is not having a good day, also, wife of Baths? "Yo man, Hannah Montana once said, everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days, everybody knows what, what I'm talkin bout, everybody gets that way. I'm here for you man." The green guy started crying, "I just...I lost my baseball cap on the way to my soccer game bring it back please based god." "It's all good, drake once said, now she want a photo, you already know though, you only live once that's the motto *beep* yolo." Gawain stood up and said, "a deal is a deal. Stay and see it through or leave in disgrace." The Green Guy stood up, with his chest puffed out in defiance. "Bring it on." "Hannah can't help you now." The green guy bent down his head, bare neck exposed. Gawain lifted up his axe, and SLICE! brought it down. The axe went swiftly through skin, fascia, muscle, ligament, bone, ligament, muscle, fascia, and skin again; it went all the way through. The head hit the ground, and rolled away. But the body stood in a triumphant pose. Then it started walking. "Yo," thought Gawain. It picked up its head, whose jaw dropped slackly open. He shook the lifeless head. Everybody felt really awkward. The now headless green guy left and a Daniel Powter arrived singing Bad Day.